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Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt. 15

Hope this works like I want it to. But even if it doesn't I am comfortable doing it this way. If you wish to view my leg wounds to get a better understanding why I am having this amputation I have posted these for you. But please be aware that these pictures are not for everyone.
< pw = jeffb1 >

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 14

The upcoming amputation of my leg and the post I have shared openly and willing about my life has been fulfilling to say the least. There will be more to come. I promise you that. But I need to take a few moment and get this off my chest.
Since I have started sharing so much about my life on here I have had a large number of people, both close to me and those I only know through Facebook or the writers forum I am blessed to be a founding member of, suggest I write a book about my life. I at first laughed about it and blew it off. However my life has always been about giving and helping if and where I can. So I am going to put this out there and see if there are any takers.
I am looking for a co-author/ghost writer to help me write this book. I need someone fairly close to me and willing to be in contact with me for regular and at times long periods of time. Someone who can help keep me writing, focused and to also help draw out of my portions of my life that would be good additions to the book.
There is one catch I can't afford to pay anything at this time. What I can and will agree to do is offer a payment percentage per sale of each book if we can get it published or what ever kind of agreement we can work out together.
This is life not reality TV crap.
You can message me here for my email address and phone number.

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 13

Recently I started posting about my upcoming amputation surgery and shared the why I chose this - complications from burns. I am humbled by the outpouring of views, likes, and kind and inspiring uplifting comments.
After about three days of posting I told George Kramer, author of Blind to Blood and the Arcadis series, that the reason I am posting all this about the surgery and my struggles on Facebook was I feel doing so is really what Facebook was intended for. Oh sure I could post on my blog too and get a lot more page-views there, maybe.
Since starting these post I have had at least one post shared with a wonderfully humbling caption added by Alyssa Murray. Thank again Alyssa. Her sharing my post has brought on comments from people on her friends list. At least one of them had read my post to their family and friends. I am blessed that people have found something of value in my posts.
I am not a good man, though I am trying to be a better person. I don't feel I deserve the praise and kind words I am receiving from so many but am truly honored and humbled because of it.
Any thing of value I have within me is not of my own doing. Their are hundreds if not thousands of people that have come and gone in my life that shaped, formed, beat and criticized me over the years to make me who I am. Their value as human beings is far greater than I will ever feel I can measure up to being. I have two sets of parents who I was blessed with. Friends who questioned my decisions and encouraged me on others. I have a brother who I look up to more than he will ever know or understand. But more important to me is God. With my faith in God I would have been lost long ago.
I can't change or undo my past mistakes in life. All I or any of us can do is work harder to be better people each day. Each time we wake and see the sunrise we have a chance to do better, to be better. That is what I am trying to do. That is my life mission.
If I fail to say this later I want to say it now. THANK YOU.

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 12

On April 6th I said I would return with more concerning my burns. The reason I am sharing this is because my upcoming surgery is largely due to complications of my burns.
As previously stated I am burned 85% of my body all 3rd degree. If we met in person you might not even notice. You may see my right arm is severely burned and think that was all. But you would be surprised to see the rest of my body is also.
Lets answer a few questions first before I go further. How was I burned? I was accidentally set on fire by gas. An eight year old boy and myself (age four at the time) were in the garage. He light a small pool of gas. The flames caught my left pants leg, went up to my torso and over to my right arm. When and where did this happen? This happened January 13th, 1970 in the garage on the concrete floor. No damage to the garage or house.
Now if you've been following along you know that the upcoming surgery is amputation to my left leg. The damage to my left leg because of this fire is the biggest complication I have had to deal with due to burns. But it isn't the only thing.
For those of us who are burn survivors we have an invisible disability in much the same way as many of you have. There are complications about being burned that no matter how long you spend around me you may never see, know or understand. I have physical limitations that everyone else pretty much takes for granted - bending, stretching, ability to handle heat or sunny days, etc.
A burn victims skin becomes almost like leather. Bending and stretching as others do is restricted or limited. In my case I can not reach my feet with both hands. I can reach my feet with my left hand. But can only reach the right foot with my right hand but not the left foot.
The inability to handle and enjoy a warm summer day is the worse but there are so many variables with this. I once worked in a doughnut shop where the back room temp was 135 degrees in the winter with the windows open and hotter in the summer. Yet I had no problems working there. But I can not and will not try to go fishing during sunny days when temps reach 80+ degrees. Yet I have been fishing in temps over 80 degrees with out complications.
So what are the variables? There are many and yet in come cases they don't help. A breeze, clouds, shade all are part of those variables but so is constant supply of water, tea, or something cool to drink. Will I be moving around a lot? Will there be some kind of fan available or air blowing system? Any, all and none of these can play a part in the ability to handle the heat. You see the burns damaged the sweat glands in my torso. I only sweat from my shoulders up and my hips down. There is a real risk of heat stroke, heat exhaustion, fainting, etc while being outside or even inside hot or warm areas.
One side note about my leg and the wounds - When you put garage outside in the summer you likely notice the flies, gnats and other things flying around it. That is what happens when I am outside to me due to the wounds on my leg. I have at least three times changed bandages on my leg only to find maggots crawling on the wounds due to the flies. The amputation with help eliminate this very embarrassing issue for me.
The moral of this post is - Never under estimate the complications others might be going through due to their unforeseen disabilities. It could very well be a matter of life or death for them.

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 11

For those keeping track of my upcoming amputation/surgery -
Apparently my pretesting for lab and EKG are the 28th of April. Oops...Already done both. :) All my lab work came back good. EKG I am not sure of at this moment since I haven't received results yet to my knowledge.
I am a tad surprised that the morning of the surgery the only medication I can take is my Amlodipine for blood pressure. But suits me just fine.
I think the most surprising thing I read was on the Post Operative Instructions page. It says can shower the day after surgery. Hmm...I have had 92 skin graft operations and a couple other operations in my life time. Showering or bathing other than a sponge bath wasn't something that would happen until two to three days after surgery at the earliest. Now I am not complaining. If I can take a shower the day after surgery you can bet that is what I will do.
Anyway give me a leg up if you know of anything else I might want to be aware of. Ummm...I mean a heads up. :)

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 10

Why I chose an amputation verses continued wound care.
The simplest answer to that would be I'm tired. I am tired of all things related to dealing with open wounds (pain, smell, etc). I am tired of bandaging and not seeing permanent healing over a long period of time. And I am tired of the wounds themselves. This has been a forty year battle for me. One that I have had through two marriages, college, twenty five year of working and just trying to enjoy life.
But there are other things that contribute into my decision for the amputation as well. Things far worse than being tired - possibility of cancer! The fear and concern of developing cancer in my legs is very real. Forties years I have been risking the possibility of getting cancer.
Cancer, any cancer is scary enough. But according to the doctors I have spoken with, none of whom agreed to amputate, cancer in the leg due to acute ulcers is hard to treat and generally lead to amputation and possibly death.
Some people would say - OH MY GOD! Not amputation. My logic said - Hmm...permanently deal with the wounds and totally eliminate risk of cancer vs spending rest of my life battling and risking? Yeah... lets get it amputated. It was truly and honestly in my mind the best possible choice of any I had ever had offered.
For the last fifteen years or so I have been asking for, pushing for and praying for one doctor to agree to my desire of an amputation. Thankfully (and unfortunately for those who have dealt with me) I am bullheaded and stubborn. So every time I saw the nurses, wound care specialist and doctors I mentioned amputation of my leg. Every time they either said it wasn't their call, wasn't needed or that no doctor would ever agree to amputate since my leg is still usable. Thankfully Dr. Benjamin Garber agreed with me.

Forty Years of waiting Coming to a Close pt 9

When I was 4 yrs old (almost 5 ) I was burned 85% of my body all 3rd degree. I have had 92 skin graft operations since than with my last one being April 2015. I have been through so many other things since than. Now I am preparing to go through an Above the Knee amputation. Some people say I am brave. Others say I am lucky to be alive.
I offer you proof that I am neither brave, nor lucky. I am just a human. You want to see brave? Lucky? Blessed? Watch this video. This is the real hero that I can look up to.