Amputation isn't something I decided yesterday or last week I wanted done. It is something I have been giving a lot of thought, research and study into. I first started talking about having my leg amputated almost fifteen years ago while Diana and I were together. But at the time it wasn't an option for a number of reasons. Mostly because I wasn't and couldn't because Diana needed my help. But also because every doctor and specialist I spoke with said no. That wasn't an option they would agree with.
To me it was an option and the most logical choice of any treatment offered to me. You see here's the thing, my wounds are on my left lower leg from the knee down to the foot. Over the years they have been various sizes, shapes and conditions of severity. But the reason for these wounds was due to poor circulation coming out of my foot. This circulation problem allowed pooling of used fluids in my leg with no way to escape except through the form of drainage. That drainage came in the form of wounds.
There was an early onset of signs that there was a problem long before the wounds got a big as they had become. As I look back over the last forty years I see them now. But at the time I really never gave it much thought. These signs were little things like unexplained pain, swelling, redness, and fatigue after walking or working. I attributed these signs to aging, long hours at work and just plan common, every day problems that everyone deals with. And so did everyone else.
You see I am burned. Like a number of medical disabilities out there burns are or can be a silent disability. Most people who meet me don't know I am burned. Many assuming that these burns don't have any side effects or give me any problems. That I can do everything everyone else can. But that isn't the case - at least not the whole story.
My burns prevent me from tolerating heat. Now we're not talking 100 degrees or more. We're talking 75 degrees and above in many cases. And there are variables to that that may or may not make it better or worse. Also my body just won't bend curtain ways like everyone else's. For example I can't bend down and touch my toes or raise my arms very high above my head. (more on all this later - for now back to my leg and the amputation)
Along with open wounds comes the most embarrassing aspect of all this - the smell. Wounds by themselves isn't and never was the only factor I looked at when deciding to opt for amputation. It was the smell. How bad is the smell from this? Imaging being in a car with all the windows up after you and four others riding with you finished eating spicy, greasy food and one of you farts. Now that is bad enough but multiply that by five. The smell of my wounds comes and goes. Sometimes it isn't noticeable but when it is it is bad. One time I was at Karaoke at a bar. I didn't smell my leg nor did my buddy. But the bartender did. She didn't know about my leg and thought there was something behind the bar causing it. Once she started complaining (loudly) I realized it much be me. So I left, drove the hour and fifteen minutes home, cleaned, and bandaged my leg, than drove the hour and fifteen minutes back to the bar.
My next post will be answering a couple of questions I have been asked both on here and personally. I hope this post at least explains and shows why I have wanted and honestly feel honestly feel I need this amputation. If you have questions, comments or thoughts please ask.